Crazy Train
by HeadGirl1
Summary: Poor wittle Spikey. He's stuck in a closet and it's getting a bit crowded.


**Title:** Crazy Train  
**Author:** Jesykah the Great  
**Rating:** pg13- It's mainly for language.  
**Feedback:** Feedback? Feedback?! I live for feedback! It's always welcome, even flames

**Chapter One**

Buffy watched the blonde vampire rock, ever so slightly, back and forth in the closet of her bedroom. He had not come out of the tiny space in a week and it was getting harder every day to get him to eat.

They had found him, they being Dawn and Xander, in the middle of his crypt. Not in his favorite chair. Not on the comfy bed in the lower level. In the middle of the floor on the cement sitting Indian style in a rapidly growing puddle of his own blood. He had had his arms wrapped around his shoulders and he was watching with a morbid curiosity as blood slowly trickled out of the shallow cuts on his arms while blood practically gushed out of the holes that scattered his chest. The holes looked like someone had taken a stake and pushed it into his chest. Not enough to make him poof into darkness, but just enough so they didn't heal fast; like they had stopped just half an inch before getting to the heart, just to torture him.

At first, both Dawn and Xander wanted to stake him, but that was the problem. They_ both_ wanted to do it, so they couldn't decide who was going to do it. In the middle of their arguing, Spike had made to stand up, but found he was too weak from blood loss, so he settled for standing lopsided on his knees. They stopped talking and looked at him. "Could you please hurry up and decide who is going to stake me?" he asked quite politely. It was the most shocking thing they had ever heard. Then he fell over unconscious, spreading the blood puddle even further.

Dawn and Xander dragged Spike all the way back to Xander's car, not that he was very heavy, he had lost most of his weight in blood, they were just hoping that he would hit a rock or something along those lines. They couldn't stake him while he was lying unconscious in a puddle of his own blood, that would be like shooting a lion at the zoo; no sport. They drove him back to the Summer's household and told Buffy about the willingness to die that had come from Spike. Their original idea was that Buffy could fix him and _then_ they could stake him. Somewhere along the way, they realized that they wouldn't be able to stake him, too much attachment. Even Xander said he wouldn't stake him, he claimed Buffy and Dawn took his witty comments way too seriously and Spike didn't. That was Xander talk for 'I care for him, too'.

Now he was in Buffy's closet. They had set him up a cot in the actual bedroom, but he refused to come out of the closet. "Ring around the rosy-"

"Spike." Buffy called softly. He ignored her and continued.

"A pocket full of posy-"

"Spike." she said sharply, more sharply than she had intended to.

He immediately stopped singing. "William is sorry. He will stop, I promise. Don't hurt William..." he whimpered.

"Sweetie, it's okay, promise. I shouldn't have snapped. Would you like to come out of there, sweetie? Join us in a world beyond designer pants?"

"What time is it?" he asked, somewhat lucidly.

"It's almost lunchtime, but we'll have all the windows covered, promise."

He shook his head, "No, too pure for William, too pure." He suddenly looked up at her, as though he went through a total revelation, "No, pure enough for William."

She smiled at him, relieved that he understood that he wasn't evil anymore. Now, if he thought that he could go strolling in the sun, that's an entirely different subject. "See? That's what we've been trying-" He cut her off.

"Pure enough for William... too pure for _Spike_." His eyes slid out of focus again and he returned to his rocking and singing. "Ring around the rosy..." Buffy sighed and walked out of the room.

She went downstairs and into the dining room where she sat down at the table. She stared at the blank wall for a moment before letting her head fall limply and hit the table with a dull thud. The front door opened and closed and Buffy didn't even stir. He walked by the dining room and said, "Hey Buffster," as he went by. When she said nothing in return, he back-tracked into the room. "Hey, Buffy?" He poked her, "Are you alive?"

"Hi Xander." she mumbled against the table.

"Oh good, still alive and kicking I see... or maybe not so much with the kicking?"

"He's wearing me out Xander." She rolled her head so she could see him without making the effort of lifting her head of the table because suddenly it felt so heavy. "He's wearing me out and-"

"RING AROUND THE ROSY! A POCKET FULL OF POSY!" They heard Spike screaming from upstairs.

"And he won't stop singing! Argh! Shut up Spike! Shut up William! Whoever is occupying your mind! Shut up!" she hollered at the ceiling. She pounded with table with her fist and Xander kneeled next to her, putting an arm around her shoulder.

"Okay, Buffy, the thing about yelling at crazy people is that it doesn't work. Now, why don't you go out and pick up some food and I'll watch Spike for a while. Okay? How's that sound?"

"Xander, I can't drive." she moaned.

"Yes, and I wouldn't let you any where near my car anyway. Just... I don't know, run really fast." He handed her a fifty dollar bill, "There, go hog wild. Just don't spend all in one fast food restaurant." She smiled weakly at him and left out the front door. Xander sighed and made his way to the stairs.

By the time he had made it to Buffy's bedroom he could hear Spike talking to his invisible people again. He did this at least once in a day. The people he talked to were completely random and his scenarios made no sense. "Listen here Skywalker, if that is your real name, I don't care how many light sabers you have, you can _not_ have the last cookie! I already gave you yours and- will somebody shut that penguin up?! I told you guys there is a force field preventing us from getting out of here and I will figure out how to disable it!" he yelled. "Oh, no thank you Angelus, I don't like tea." Xander shook his head and walked in.

He sat on Buffy's bed and watched as Spike seemed to be inspecting the door frame while yelling at other 'people' that are in the closet with him. They never really could get him out of these states; they kind of just went away by themselves. "Oh bollocks, Gilligan! Now look what you've done! And I almost had it you dunder head! Where's Xander?" Xander's ears perked up at the sound of his name. It wasn't rare that the Scoobies had their name's pulled into these somehow. He was curious as to what he would be doing in this daydream. "No Skywalker, I said _Xander_ not _salamander_! What am I supposed to do with this? Ugh! Do I have to do _everything_?" Xander laughed silently at the scene going on in Spike's head. It was like one of those old programs on the radio before the television when they would describe everything to you.

"What? Captain Kirk's on the line? Well, tell him to call in Xander! He's the fix-it man; he'll know how to disable the force- hey no pushing!" Xander shook his head. _This is going to be a long journey,_ he thought.


End file.
